Relationships 101 was not a class many of us had throughout our childhood and adolescent years in school. Rather we learned, developed beliefs and adopted behaviors about relationships from those around us. Those who modeled how relationships work, gave us some good things and some bad things. But since it usually is something that was never explicitly taught, we are left to figure out and develop our own ideas about how to make relationships work.
When I face relationship challenges, there is sometimes this feeling that I should know how to solve the problem or find solutions for the problems on my own. Maybe you have had that same feeling before. Is it a fear of vulnerability? Is it shame that keeps us from sharing? Is it a belief that I should have it all together? Is it a fear of what others might think of me? We each have our reasons we keep from sharing when we face challenges.
There are certain things that we readily accept help and coaching in; sports, education, business, hobbies etc. However when it comes to personal growth and relationship development we tend to go travel alone for too long, trying to solve our problems with the same solutions and tactics. There seems to be a lot of taboos associated with asking for help or admitting we don’t have good solutions when we struggle with problems, especially relational problems. We can easily put on a mask that we have it all together.
In our society, where we are taught to do things on our own, reaching out for help, coaching, counsel or consultation is not something immediately valued. I would encourage you to not believe you have to travel alone, especially when you are working to improve your relationships. Find people who can sources of wisdom to walk with you has you grow.
